I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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