K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
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