her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
