I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
