3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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