HIV tests are more positive than that guy
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
