it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
how drunk are you?
Several
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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