I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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