We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Non-Jews are for practice
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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