Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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