Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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