He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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