I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You're a waste of cheezeits
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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