Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
