at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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