Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
