Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
