Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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