he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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