I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
