So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
one might say we're banned from that church
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
