you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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