Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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