i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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