My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Someone shit on the floor
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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