More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
