I think I just saw someone hide a body.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
