no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
