You made me cry and you don't even care
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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