It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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