he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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