I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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