Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
