Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
