yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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