I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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