Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
