Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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