dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
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