Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
