Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Randomize
