I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
