as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
