he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
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