Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
