you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
