What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
