During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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