All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
