She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
