This is not my ceiling
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
