My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
