i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
