a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
